George's Sorrow
by Rincon-kun
Summary: Warning:SPOILERS! Read at your own risk! Did anyone ask how George felt after his greatest lose? Well, I did and he felt terrible, wanted to die, but something happened that made him think about it. First fic in English! Don't shoot me!


_**So, this is a fic about George's feelings after his twin brother's death. I wrote it because Fred and George were my favourite characters (along with Luna Lovegood, Moaning Myrtle, the Marauders, Snape, Tom Riddle, etc) in the Harry Potter series –tralalalala- and I still don't understand how Rowling ever dared to curse George and, even more, kill Fred. In fact, writing this fic was like a therapy for me…it made me feel better (because I was depressed because of that…that's why it starts a bit dramatically). And here you got it. Hope you like it. Remember, I'm not a native speaker (my native language is Spanish), so, sorry about grammar or spelling errors.**_

_**Please note too that I don't own anything. If I did, Fred wouldn't be dead and George would still have his ear.**_

**X X X**

"George…George! Oh, George, you're fine, thank God!" his mother was saying. She embraced him but he could barely feel her. His brain was numb; he could not think…it could not be possible. But he felt it. He felt it hard on his chest as though any of the curses that were being thrown at him at that moment had hit it squarely. He even saw him leaving. He waved at him and smiled broadly as he always had. And he, George, thought his brother was going to help him. When he looked around again and did not see him anymore, his heart started throbbing madly and he began thinking the worse.

His mother was still saying something when he cut across her saying aloud for the first time in the whole night what have been disturbing him. And yet, he did not want to hear the answer (even though he knew it would be better if he heard it now), because that would make it even more real than it was now.

"Mum, where's Fred?" the answer did not come back immediately, and that made his heart sink along his hopes of being mistaken. His mum's eyes started to sparkle with tears as she watched the other family members behind her. He had not realized they were all there: Bill, Fleur, Charlie, Percy (who was the one still crying in agony), his father and Ginny. All of them were looking helplessly to the floor, without knowing what to say…how to explain that his twin brother was not part of this world anymore.

But their silent sobbing and tears explained more than the actual words. His mum started crying even harder and hugged him tighter. He wrapped his arms around her without thinking, more mechanically.

"Oh, George, I'm so sorry! I'm so, so, sorry! When we realized… when we got there…Percy was fighting against Rookwood. We couldn't do anything…"

George was not listening anymore. His brain's numbness only let in words such as 'sorry', 'Percy', 'anything'. Yes, that was the word:_ anything_ in life could compare to this feeling. He was sure it was real, he knew it, and he could not feel him anymore. He had never before realized about the special bond that he shared with Fred. _Never_, till now. Maybe it was because they were always together and they were so used to be with the other that they never minded. And now he could feel it. He could feel a strange emptiness, and soon he was drowning in his own sorrow. Before he could stop them, two tears were sliding down his cheeks. He did not notice the lump in his throat forming itself until he felt the tears falling down. But he was not really crying. He did not sob, nor hiccupped. He only let the tears fall; let them wash out his newly found guilt. If they had just not separated…if they would have stick together, maybe he, George, would be resting next to his brother or he might still be alive. 'Why it was not me?' he caught himself thinking. Fred was still complete. If it was him, George, at least they could have said he used to have rough luck and it was not a surprise after all.

Now, he would have laughed if he had his all-time comrade by his side.

But he was no longer there. No longer to have a laugh at his lost ear, no longer to invent things to make everyone happy, no longer to be his partner, no longer to be his brother…

He saw it when it arrived. He did not care about the one's carrying it. All he wanted to do was to properly say 'good-bye' to his brother's corpse (even though it was a bit too late).

They laid him in the middle of the Great Hall's floor and George knelt beside him, staring at his face. It was as though he was watching himself dead. The only difference was the ear Fred still had. He heard his mother's slow and trembling steps drawing closer.

"Oh, my Fred… Freddie… Look what they've done to you!" and she exploded in tears once more.

"At least," started George still watching his twin's face. He had the ghost of his last smile on the lips, "he seems to have died happily." And then he added more quietly so his mother could not hear. "Bastard, you promised me we would die together when we have got too old to get on our feet or to remember who we were."

George spent all the time he could next to Fred's body. He felt as though any moment now Fred would open his eyes, smile at him and tell him to get the hell out of there. But that time never come. He had to fight again. This time he did it on Fred's name…and by the time he realized, his mum had killed Bellatrix Lestrange and Harry had finally defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named but he was still empty. He sat on the Gryffindor table, his dad, Bill and Percy next to him. After a while without saying a thing, he finally could articulate something:

"Dad…I want to wake up from this nightmare." His father looked up at him, surprised. You _never _hear any of the twins talking like that. George went on. "It's already lasted too long. I'm sick of it. I want Fred back. He can't be dead…" George hid his face under his arms and felt the guilt, the sadness, the sorrow, the self pity falling over his shoulders again. "He just can't…" Even though he knew it, he still could not accept it. How did it happen? What went wrong? Did he even realize he died? He felt guilty because he was alive and his brother was not. Were not they supposed to be together, always? No mattering what or where? And he let him go alone…alone to the last place he would have liked to let him go that way, because there was no coming back from there. He would not be able to see his brother again, until he decided to follow.

…To follow? Hey, that was not a bad idea.

Before his dad could even say anything to try and make him feel better, he got on his feet and went upstairs to find an empty classroom. Obviously he had no problem finding it. George was figuring out which would be the best way to 'follow' his brother when the idea came. He took out his wand, pointed it directly to his neck and said, "Incarcerous!" A rope gripped firmly around his throat, making it hard to breathe. When he was starting to get blue, he thought it was not a good idea after all, because he would be punishing himself pretty much and he did not want that, so, he changed his mind. He cut the ropes off his throat, left the classroom and ran upstairs again to the Astronomy Tower. He was as breathless as he was downstairs with the rope on his neck, and the altitude was improving that condition. But it did not matter anymore. Soon everything would end and lack of sense: the pain on his chest, his loneliness, _everything. _

He walked to the edge of the tower, trying not to think. He opened his arms and that made him look like a bird that was planning to fly. He closed his eyes thinking hard on his brother and forgetting that he was about to jump from the highest tower at Hogwarts. When he had already decided to jump, he heard something that made him jump and stop from trying to kill himself.

"What in the name of Merlin's longest damn beard are you doing?" George turned over slowly and almost gets a heart failure that would have been more effective to kill him than his other feeble tries (whether for the heart failure itself or because he slipped from the tower's edge and almost falls). Fred…his twin brother Fred was standing behind him with a frown on his face and his thumbs in his jean's pockets waiting, apparently, for an explanation. But he was not transparent as a ghost. He was damn solid, as though his dead body had walked right behind George to stop him from doing what he meant to.

George was open mouthed, watching Fred who was still waiting.

"So…?" said Fred impatiently "What the hell were you up to?"

"…To no good? I was…trying to follow you, that's all." Answered George still confused. Was this a hallucination because of the lack of air? He leant towards 'Fred' scrutinizing him. 'Fred' stepped backwards to have space as he was saying:

"Obviously to no good, you dung brain. You can't be up to good when you're trying to suffocate yourself with a rope coming out your damn wand or when you're trying to throw yourself from the highest damn Hogwarts Tower. Anyway, that's just stupid. Who told you you could follow? You stay here! Who's gonna take care of the business? Who'll take care of mum and dad? Who'll bother Percy now he's back? Who'll take care of Ginny? D' you want to make mum's sorrow and despair even greater by duplicating it? You're a damn coward, that's what you are."

"Hey! I'm not a coward! Take that back! " George was turning red. Fred just raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Anyway, what are you? Weren't you dead? Or was it just another one of your jokes?

For the first time, Fred seemed to think about it. Then, he shrugged.

"Dunno…maybe I'm your conscience. The one who's meant to tell you what's good and what's bad… And this is bad, George! "Said Fred with an expression of mock concern and poking out a finger to point his brother "You've been a bad child, trying to make your mum's suffering even greater! Tut, tut, tut… Pull yourself together and be a nice boy! Go on! Make your mum happy!" Fred started to laugh and George did too, against his will.

"I know what a conscience is, thank you, idiot" said George after a while, still smiling "So, you don't really know what you are?" Fred shook his head "I'm sure you're not a ghost, though, because I can't see through you and you weren't that coward. I know you would have crossed to the other side right away…"

"Yeah, and maybe I'm just trying to stop you and to tell you why you weren't supposed to die." Fred and George nodded, agreeing together.

"Yeah, absolutely…"

"Definitely…"

"So, you weren't a coward…"started George.

"Nope, but we can't say the same about you…"

"Hey! I wasn't going to suicide because of cowardice! I just thought…we were supposed to be together, always and that it was I pity it wasn't me the one who died because you…because you…"

"Because I was complete?" ended Fred. George nodded to the floor, as Fred shook his head. "Has half your brain gone out with me? That's not important and you know it. As for being together, well…maybe the world wasn't ready for us to continue like that. But you've still got lots of things to do. You have to go on. If you want to help, then keep running the joke shop. We had lots of ideas. Try to put them on practice. Make everyone happy; make them have fun as always. Wasn't it what it was all about, what we were trying to do? I'll be there with you as always, even though you can't see me, as always. Cause we are twins and that bond'll never fade away, OK?" George nodded, smiling.

"You never said this kind of stuff when you were alive. Being dead seems to improve you a lot" Fred shrugged again.

"Well, there are things worth learning and saying. Things you gotta learn or say when you want to stop your brother from doing something stupid" Fred punched George on the shoulder and finished "Gotta go. The air is coming back to your brain and as a hallucination created by that, probably, I have to leave. But don't forget what I've told you, bastard! Keep it up! Take care of the family and the business"

"Don't worry, Fred. I will…"he could not feel Fred's fist punching him. He had already left. George now knew what he was meant to do, and felt much better when he returned to the Great Hall to sit with his family. The only thing, along the store, that was worth to care about.

**X X X**

_**How do you like it? I know I'm not the best writer in the world, but I did it as a therapy (as I've told you before). There's a reason why I wrote it in English and that's this: This fic goes to Kuro666, who helped me during my grief stage, and as I promised her I would translate some of my writing in English so she could read it (and till now I hasn't). Well, Kuro, hope to see you 'round here, here you got it. **__**It also goes for my cousin Rita: Gracias por llorar conmigo la pérdida de Freddie y enhorabuena por entrar a la prepa. Considera esto como un regalo. Te quiero mucho! nñ **_

_**If you review it, you'll make me quite happy. **_


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